“The living that busts out of every ounce of that kid fills up corners of our family we didn’t know were empty”
surprised by motherhood

I just cannot believe this sweet baby is ONE!  It felt like the first six months dragged and dragged, mostly because I was so incredibly sleep deprived, but the last six months literally passed with a blink of an eye.
There are so many things I think of when I reflect on her birth…..that amazing feeling of the doctor placing her on me, looking down in those big eyes, having that immediate skin-to-skin and repeatedly saying “she’s so cute!”  I spent 41 weeks carrying this baby in constant worry due to issues coming up almost monthly.  The moment I held her I took the biggest deep breath, let out a flood of tear and thanked God for her health and safety.  I also can’t help but think of the chaos that ensued.  After those beautiful, initial moments I remember little.  Everything was so foggy and I felt so horrible, it is all so vague.  Once I was stable and in a room with Jason and this little girl, I felt like a mountain stood in front of me physically.  And at 36 hours old Evelyn started bleeding internally.  We didn’t have answers, still don’t know what happened exactly except that she is healthy and happy.  But after the worst week and a half of my life, we were home and a family of five.
When I found out Evelyn was a girl a rush of excitement as well as fear sunk in immediately.  Those that know me, know I’m not a girly girl.  I wear jeans most days and very little makeup.  I’m almost 35 and still learning to curl my hair!  But I was also excited to have that mother/daughter bond, one I lack from a daughter’s perspective since the age of 18.  I have amazing women in my life but having a daughter has made me miss my mom more than ever before.
I recently read “Surprised by Motherhood” by Lisa-Jo Baker (click here to buy and thank me later!) and it had such an impact on me.  The quote above was one of my favorite parts (which I could list so many it is sooo good!) as well as the following:

“My daughter – she is growing me up into a mom and into a daughter who remembers she was beloved all eighteen years starting at the first one.”

I love my special bond with each of my amazing three kiddos, they are all unique relationships and I am thankful for that.  Fynn is my tough guy that loves to create art, play sports, stay active and follow his dad anywhere.  Sutton is my sensitive, caring, expressive and silly guy that loves to snuggle and always sits by mama.  And Evelyn is someone I am still getting to know.  She loves her mom, dad and brothers that is clear.  She loves water bottles, remotes, dog toys and being in the water.  She isn’t a fan of most foods and is definitely my pickiest eater!  We were convinced she would walk before 10 months yet she shows little interest now at 12 months.  She has the best crinkle-nose smile you ever did see!  And she is strong, so very strong.  She definitely completes our family and it is a family I thank God for EVERY SINGLE DAY!

My favorite images over the last 12 months!
evie1

evie2 evie3 evie4 evie5 evie6 evie7Happy Birthday My Sweet Girl!